The Only Hope For Me Is You
by 3RavensNightmare3
Summary: SUMMARY Alex is inlove with Frank, Frank's inlove with Alex. Alex is on the verge of ending her life, and the only reason she hasn't is because of Frank. Will the two admit their feelings for each other or will Alex finally carry out her orignal plans of leaving permantley? Warnings: Self harm, sex,and attempted raped. Don't like it, then don't read it. RR?
1. Chapter 1

I layed perfectly still on the old, worn out couch inside of my barely warm apartemnt. My heas was fuzzy and my body nearly numb, or so it felt. The cause of these weird and abnormal feelings were the result in the mixture of pills I had taken about thrity minutes ago. I had exactly planned on taking so many tonight, but after tonights events I convinced myself that I needed , I pickde myself up offf of the couch and headed into the bathroom, with really only on thought on my hazed mind. I bumped right into the bathroom door before making it inside the small room. Instantley, I openeding up the left drawer by my sink, and grabbed the small blade I kept hidded and tapped under it. I placed the small metal object between my pointer finger and my thumb as I raised my left wrist. I started with two long cuts, and then just bagen to slash away at my pale,bruised and delicate flesh. I didn't once flench in pain, only because I was so used to this. I stopped once my entire wrist was covered in those long red lines. I then washed off the blade, put it back in its hiding spot, and put my bleeding wrist in the sink. I didn't bother to wach it off, I just let it bleed.I looked at myself in the mirror for a moment, taking in my apperance. I looked shitty, that was for sure. My forearms and wrist were covered in little purple bruises. As were my thieghs and waist, but tose weren't visable at the moment. I knew these new bruises would disappear in about two or three days, but all they reminded me of right now was todays earlier events. I closed my eyes, and negan to remember the small , as so called 'friend' of mine. and I had been hanging around her boyfriend. Andrew's house around 10:30 pm. Summr and Andrew had been drinking, but not enough to actually get two had their own little conversation as I sat alone on the other couch as the time passed by. Around, maybe the third hour, Jackson, Adrew's bestfirend and roomate, came , Jackson, had a very big, 'crush' so to speak, on me. And each and every time he and I were in the same room, he made sure I knew that. So, you see, this isn't exactly the first time that Jackon has dragged me back into his bedroom, so that he could amuse himself and leave a few more marks on never really, intended, to leave marks on me, those were usually caused by my constant and useless struggling. As always,Summer and Andrew allowed it to happen, sometimes even encouraged Jackson to touch and hurt me. But this was simply because they were to high or drunk to really care or do anything about it. Why I still kept Summer as a friend, I really didn't know, maybe because she was the only one who would give me the pills I used for nights like tonight. Summer was constantly giving me pills, pills that I kept hidden under my bed in a small black shoe box.I might live alone, but ever since Gerard, one of my best friends, and basically my big brother, found me passed out on the couch because I had taken to many pills, came over three times a day to check on me. Each night he would come over, either to find me in the state I was in now, or gone. And each night he came over and found me in this state, he would usally lecture me, or ask me why I had done it this time. But as always, I'd give him the same anwser, "I'm fine".I glanced at the clock on my cell phone, which read, eleven thirty six. Knowing Gerard would be over soon, and not wanting to to be around to hear his lecture, I decided to head out. I grabbed a jacket and slipped it in over my arms and bloody wrist.I shoved my house key into my jeans and left my cellphone on the couch. I left my apartment with one place on my mind, Frank's house.I knew his house was about an hour away on foot, and despite the snow and bitter chilled air, I still decided to make the journey. Frank wouldn't be to shocked to see since he was already used to seeing me show up at random in the middle of th enight, with or without a bunch of pills in my I reached my destination, I decided to straighten out my messy clothes before knocking on Frank's old brown door. I smoothed out my long, velvet red hair, and dusted off my gray tank top and ripped skinny jeans. I postioned my jacket so my arms were completely covered, and let my bangs hang in my left, hazel eye. Satisfied, and a bit unstable, I knocked on Frank's with my hazy and some what blurred vision, I could see the light from Frank's old tv through his I could hear muffled sounds of movement and his tired vioce. Finally, he opened the door.


	2. Chapter 2

"Alex?" Frank asked, rubbing his tired eyes,"What're you doing out so late?"  
I tried to give him a smile of some sort, and sort of failed.I couldn't really tell because I was a bit to focused on him. Frank wore a black t-shirt, and Star Wars pajama pants. Despite the nerdiness of it, the pj's made him more adorable. His jet balck hair was trimmed on the sides, but a little bit longer in the middle, allowing his bangs to come down and curve under his right eye, Even in this very dull lighting, his soft and bright green eyes seemed to have a certain glow to thehm. I took a small glance at his well toned upper half, and tattoed arms before he waved his hand infront of my face.  
"Hello?" Frank asked, looking directly at me,"Shit. You took those pills again, didn't ypu?"  
It wasn't really a question, more of an observation. I nodded still as Frank sighed and pulled me into his warm house. I stood there, silently by his couch, as he closed and locked the door. As he turned the lock, I allowed my eyes to wonder around his living room. Just about everywhere you looked, there were photographs. It wasn't to surprising, to me at least, to see his pictures scattered around the place. Despite the amount of times I had seen his wonderful photos, they still never seemed to amaze me.  
Frank was a professional photographer, well almost proffesional, but still amazing. Frank seemed to capture the most beautiful pcitures I had ever seen. He could make anything beautiful, anything breath taking. He photographed anything from landscapes, to buildings, and people, to animlas. He seemed to capture things in his pictures that you wouldn't notice with your own eyes. Just about everyone in this small town of Jersey, loved Frank's work, and wanted him to do some type of work for them. Plus, last I herd, ac actual professioanl photographer from Paris, was having meetings with Frank, and even considering hiring Frank as his partner. Of course, there was still much to discuss and consider about this job offer. For instants, Frank would have to move all the way to Paris France, leaving his family and friends behind.  
"Does Gerard even know you're here?"Frank asked, pulling out his cell phone. I mumbled a quick, no, as Frank dialed Gerard's number.I sat down on the couch and allowed Frank to have his conversation with Gerard.  
"Hey, Gee?" I herd Frank speak into the phone,"Yes, she's here with me and all in one piece. I'll bring her over tomorrow morning."  
Even from where I was sitting, I could hear Gerard's irritated and concerned voice. I actually felt a bit bad for always leaving him in the middle of the night with no warning at all. Gerard shouldn't be spending his nights looking after me, but he did anyways, because he cared about me. And I repayed him by giving him samll heart attacks and stressing him our more than he should. But as always, I made up for nights like these to Gerard by either buying him art supplies, or spending some time with him whenever he felt alone.  
I'll take care of here Gerard. Just calm down and try to go to sleep, okay? I wouldn't be this calm with you if she wasn't okay, alright? So, go to bed." Frank said calmley. After mumbling a goodbye to Gerard, Frank hung up the phone and walked over to the couch. Frank kneeled down in front of me, and starred directly at me.  
"Alex?"Frank asked, putting his hand gentally on my cheeck so that I had to looke back at him,"Ca you tell me exactly what you took tonight?"  
"Um, Summer gave me um," I began, trying hard to remember what all I took tonight."Benadryl, some sort of anti depresents, and muscle relaxers.I don't remember everything, it was just a really big hanful of stuff."  
"And you took all of them? How many?" Frank questioned, studying my face and slightly swaying body.  
"Like, thrity? Or something like that?"I repolied. Frank eyes got wide for a moment, before returning to their noraml size.  
At first, I expected him to start one of his short and angry lectures, but he didn't, which seriously surprised me. Instead, Frank softly sighed, and moved my bangs away from my and I locked eyes for a moment, and I could see hints of the sympathy, anger and hurt, that he refused to show, all mixed into his beautiful green eyes. I couldn't exactly understand why he wasn't acting like he usualy did when I showed up like this, and honestly, it sort of scared me.  
"I should, um, g-go," I said finally clearing the silance. I stood up and headed for the door.  
"No, you shouldn't" Frank sighed, grabbing my left wrist. The tiny bit of pain I felt from his grasp and the new cuts, made me look back at him. His eyes were pleading, begging me to stay."Just, stay here. So, I won't have to worry about you passing out in the street, getting sick, or getting yourself kidnapped."  
"Ow," I mumbled,"Alright, I'll stay."  
"Why'd you say ow? Why ow? I didn't grab that hard at all. Why ow?" Frank asked giving me the most serious, that-better-not-be-what-I-think0it-is, look I had ever seen. Some comfort came from that look however. It just ment he was back to normal, I guess. But in my case, this wasn't to much of a good thing.  
"Erm., nothing."I replied, as casually as I could.  
"Nothing?" Frank repeated, rasing an eyeborw at me and folding his arms across his chest.  
"Yeah, nothing," I said again.  
"Pull up your sleeves," Frank instructed.  
"If I do, you'll get seriously mad at me and then probably wind up hating me or something," I protested, putting my left arm behind my back.  
"There is nothing on Earth that you could do that would make me hate you,"Frank said, in a defiant tone,"But if you don't show me, odds are I'll be a bit more pissed than I already am."  
Slowley, I lifted up my arm towards him. Frank gentally warpped his fingers around my forearm, and lifited up my soaked, jacket sleeve. He said nothing as he allowed his eyes to widden in horror, and his jaw drop slightly.  
Blood was still emeraging from the cuts, which kind of surprised me. My pale skin was now covered in small blobs and smeared , Frank dragged me into his kitchen and lifited me on the counter next to the sink. He then procceded to turn on the facut and put my wrist under the warm running he let the water run for a little bit, Frank went into his bathroom and began rummaging through the took him about two minutes to finally find what he was looking for, Frank walked back into the kitchen holding a white box, labeled, **FIRST AID, **and set it on the counter, next to me. He continued to grab a clean dish rag, turn on the sink, and dry off my wrist very carefully.  
"This,"Frank said, holding up a bottle of peroxide he'd gotten from the kit,"Will most likely sting."  
I didn't have much time to protest before Frank poured some of the liquied over my wrist. I bit my lip as Frank watched and waited for the stuff to stop bubbling. After dabbing away the peroxide, he pulled out a some tube of neosproen, and gentally began spreading it across my felt a bit weird feeling Frank's fingertip go voer each and everyone of my cuts. As soon as he finished spreading the medicine, Frank began to wrap my wrist in a white bandage.I kept my eyes on the ground as Frank contuied to do so, complteley unable to look at him directly. For a total of five minutes Frank held my wrist in his five minutes he and I didn't say a single word.  
"Alex?"Frank finally asked, putting my arm down in my placed his hand son either side of my and looked up at me.  
"Yeah?" I said, still not taking my eyes off of the ground.  
"How'd you get those bruiises?" Frank asked.  
This, alaramed me in every way possiable. Not to mention it scared me. I had completely forgotten about then occured to me that tose were the reason Frank had starred at my arm for so long. Of course, I hadn't told Frank, not even Gerard the story behind those marks, and I didn't plan to. Not any time soon, at least. I had worked so hard at keeping this a secret, so hard at keepingt hat horriable secret away from them, and I wasn't about to let this small slip up mess any of that hard work up. If Frank ever did find out, he would probably think I was disgustiing., but who could blame him? I was. And even Gerard, dispite how much he cared about me, would porbably turn away from me or leave. I couldn't handle that.  
"I d-don't know," was the best I could come up with. Being int eh state I was in, Frank might actually buy this bad exuse.  
"How do you not remember something like that?" Frank questioned, obviously not at all satsified with me anwser. I knew he wasn't going to drop the subject until he got an answer and I also knew I knew Frank expected an anwser, but I couldn't come up with a good enough or even believeable exuse right now. So I settled on the only idea thst popped into my mind, changing the subject.  
"I don't feel good, Franl, I said, and leaned my head aganst his shouldar. I wrapped my arms losely around my torso and let my eyes close. I wasn't lying at all, I seriously felt like shit.  
"I wonder why," Frank mumbled, sarcastically. He leaned his head against mine as he let out a tiny sigh.  
He and I were silent once again, but this time, it wasn't that awkward silance that we had had so many times seemed as if we were both trying to enjoy this small moment, that would have been perfect it I wasn't so fucked up.  
"I'm really worried about you Alex," Frank whispered,"I don't like you like this.I want you to be happy again, maybe not like you used to be, but still, happy."  
"I'm sorry I can't be what you want me to be,"I mumbled.  
I didn't mean it like it came out. I truely did wish that I could be everything Frank wanted me to be, everything he saw in me. I really did just want to show him that he made me happy, that he was the only thing keeping me form leaving this world all together. But I was afraid, to afraid that he would reject me. And if something like that were to happen, I'd break completely.  
"You know I didn't mean it like that," Frank said.  
"I know," I whispered.  
"C'mon, time for you to go to bed," Frank announced.  
"But I'm comfortable right here. Frank gave out a small laugh, before picking me up.  
"Carrying you works to," Frank said, trying to contain another laugh.  
Only seconds later did I feel myself being set down on a cold and soft matress.I would've stayed in my current postion if I hadn't felt Frank pulling away. I grabbed his arm lossly, making him stop. I opened my eyes slightly to look up at him.  
"D-don't leave," I mumbled,"I-I don't want to be b-by myself."  
"Sh. I'm not going anywhere," Frank anwsered as he smoothed back strands of my hair, "But I have to get your shoes and jacket off."  
"Okay," I said, letting go of his arm. I felt my shoes quickly come off, one after the other.I felt the zipper to my jacket coming down, and I had to lean up so Frank could slide the thing off of me. I opened my eyes for a spilt second and came to relise how close Frank and I were.  
His left hand was planted firmly on the matress beside me for support, while his right hand was slipping off my jacket. Our faces however, were mere inches apart, and the distanst between them seemed to be getting hsorter and shorter. Finally I felt his lips on my rest of my jacket come off quickly as Frank eased me back onto the matress. I let my fingers wrap aorund the coller of his shirt and carefully pulled him ontop of me.I felt Frank's arm wrap around my waist and swap our postions. The last thing we did was intertwine our fingers before he pulled away.  
Quick;y, I pulled myself off of him, and sat at the foot of the bed, letting my hair hang in face. I bit my lip, expecting tim to say somethingout of regret. But instead, this time it was I who broke the silance.  
"You know, you don't have to put up with me Frank" I said, trying to keep my voice steady,"I can call someone to come and get me."  
"Alex,"Frank said leaning towards me,"Alex look at me."  
"What?"I asked, as Frank put his index finger under my chin and titled my head up, towards him.  
"First off, I do not put up with you, I tak care of you, alright? I'm not doing this because I pity you, no, I'm doing this because I won't ignore someone I deepley care about . Not when that someone is hurting this bad," Frank stated, making sure we kept eye contact,"And second, I only pulled away because it wouldn't be right of me or fair to you, if I went any farther while you still had pills in your sytem, understand?"  
"O-okay," I said, nodding my head.  
"Good, now c'mere and go to sleep. I'll explain everything to Gerard in the morning," he said, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me back down. I rested my head against his chest after he pulled the covers over my shoulders.  
"Frank?"I asked, after closing my eyes.  
"Yeah?"he responded.  
"Don't tell Gee," I said," At least, not yet."  
"Okay, I won't, just go to sleep," he agreed, after kissing my forehead.  
Satsified with Frank"s agreemnt, I allowed myself to drift off into a pill inforced sleep.


End file.
